“The harder I work the luckier I get”
Everyone thinks that I have what it takes. I born with it. I am a leader a speaker or whatever. Those are the people from the outside. Now the people very close to me know that I have worked very hard on every single thing. Including reading.
Yes reading. Firstly I hardly spoke any english just a few years back and even today reading is very slow for me. It is way waster then before. But Anytime someone picks up a book when we read together including my wife she reads two pages while I read one. So by any means reading is easy for me and writing and speaking is even harder with my diselcisa plus not knowing english which I been working on for a while now.
The point I am trying to make is that there is no person that is well rounded and just breaths success and everything is just fall in their laps and seem to get lucky all the time.
The thing is that these people have worked very very hard developing one habit at the time to able to get where they are. They have done it so many times and practiced so often that these things became habits and things started to happen to them on regular basis because they have worked on it so much. My reading habits which are reading for 2 hours every morning from 4:45 am have changed my life and my business. But it didn’t just start like that. I slowly developed that habit and after about 60 consecutive days if I miss one because of travel or something i freak out like a drug addict! Just like some people freak out when they miss a workout or need their diet coke.
You can do it too!
I wanted to share tips on how you can improve yourself and give you a real example what it takes for me and what I do to improve these skills that I have never had in my life. I just knew if I wanted to be this leader I must Aquire these skills.
These rules below are handwritten in my notebook that I carry with myself everywhere I go and I go over this at the very least once a week and reflect back how I utilized them and where I should improve next. Analyze conversations I had with team, family, speaking engagements etc.. And create notes about it.
My Listening and Talking Rules:
Never finish the other person sentence
Stop sayin “ I know”!
Do not agree if someone PRAISE you, just simple say Thank you!
Try not to use the following words: “No” ; “But” ; “However”
Must be laser focused! Do no’t let your eyes wonder around! FOCUS
Ask very intelligent questions that shows that I paid attention and able to move the conversation forward with the question and most importantly requires the other person to talk more so I CAN LISTEN more.
DO NOT try to impress others with my success or accomplishemenents and neither try ti impress with how funny and clever I am. My goal is to make the person feel that way.
If I don’t have anything nice to say to someone then don’t say it. Unless it if for their best interest. If it’s just for mine then no.
If its not worth arguing then just let it go. There is no point of arguing about nonsense.
Smile, Laugh and copy body language to able to get the people on the same emotional level and to able to make them feel better.
Say THANK YOU way more often.
Compliment people on everything. Offices, clothes, hair, accomplishment so they can feel more successful and important.
Praise people for their real accomplishments
LISTEN, then pause, then mirror words and use sensory words like it seems like, sounds like, looks like.
ask tons of questions!
And below is my speaking rules. As you see it is way smaller then the listening rules. that is why we have 2 ears, 2 eyes and only one mouth. You do not want to be that person who highjacks the conversation… Like when you share with someone we were featured in a magazine. And the person highjacks the conversation we were to and goes on for 15 more minutes… Or when you tell someone about your vacation to Europe and the person you told the story hijacks your story and shares their European vacation from 5 years ago instead.
Know your opening and closing sentences before you enter or exit the room. Prep ahead.
Speak louder, that gives you more authority and confidence
Speak more slowly which allows your audience to digest the message.
Pause when you speak and be a master of it. I do this sometimes to check for understanding and sometimes to make a dramatic effect.
Choose your words wisely. You don’t want to keep repeating yourself (long story short) which I used to do all the time!
Bottom line is be yourself. Be unique.